A retrospective by longtime collaborator, Peters Character

Born Constance Abigail Convergence on July 7, 19--, in Vialla de Castelo, on the western coast of Portugal. Her father, Boris Convergence, a linguist, was doing field work, studying a unique local dialect, and was said to have had profound influence on that of his own regional patois, the fisherman’s argot of the coast lands of northern maine.  This he accomplished while his very pregnant wife, Mary Grace Convergence, worked on the novel that  would  one day make her famous. You studied it in school, it’s ubiquitous now. Once out of her system,  Mary Grace never felt the urge to write again, such seems to be a Convergence hallmark of sorts.

Conni was born arm first, seeming almost to grab at  life, to seize it, from the very start. She was a precocious child, as you can imagine. Instantly adored by all who came into contact with her. She was the undisputed star of the weekly salons,  held in the Convergence parlor room. These now legendary feasts where Conni would come to meet  (and indeed charm the dickens out of) many of the great minds of our time. The only thing said to have been better than the conversation was the food.

Conni’s first brush with fame seemed almost accidental, though we know now that nothing really is. While on a family trip to New York,  a 15 year old Conni happened to literally bump into a young painter by the name of William De Koonig. Quite taken with her, she would become the basis for his “Young Woman” series,  numbers 1, 2, 3,  and 4, all but the third of which hang in the Galleria Moderna in Salermo. It is my understanding that Conni hung the third in her bathroom.

Conni was twice nominated for an academy award, though never as a performer.  The first was for her having written lyrics to a tune by renowned composer, Uda Freyda, called The Dark Alarm, from the film of the same name. The second was as screenwriter  on the sleeper classic, As I Remember Adam, a film in which she also starred. The first award went to Cole Porter, the second to Billy Wilder.

The rest is part of our culture. Here are a few highlights you will remember:

Conni wins the bronze medal in archery at the Olympic Games in Rio de Janeiro.

While shooting A Lover and His Lass on location in Monaco, Conni was aggressively courted and proposed to by Prince Ranier III. Though flattered, she declined, and suggested that maybe he would be interested in meeting her friend and a costar on the picture, a young actress by the name of Grace Kelly.

The Sorbonne christens a new building in her honor. The new building, which houses the experimental  cooking wing, is known as Conni Hall.

Conni attends the Sorbonne, graduating with honors.  Though quite famous, she was said to have insisted on being treated as all other students were, even going so far as to live in a dormitory, much to the chagrin of her husband.

Conni’s Avant Garde Restaurant is performed for the first time on American soil at a little known rehearsal space off the L train in Brooklyn.

Her cookbook, A Dirty Apron, is published. The now famous introduction calls for, in her words, “a collective leap forward, an unwillingness to settle. We shall become,” she wrote, “the pioneers, the gold rushers, the avant garde.”

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